


Numb

by Clementine_115



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M, everyone is a little broken, how to forget your first love, so much pain and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clementine_115/pseuds/Clementine_115
Summary: When the past was brought in to light, only to play with their emotions, dancing on their already shattered little hearts.





	

Hyunwoo had gone out to meet his fellow mates from the dance club to discuss about the choreography for the upcoming summer festival, meaning Hyungwon had the whole house all to himself. He's thankful that his housemate had gone out. It's not that the said man was a nuisance, in fact Hyunwoo was quite the opposite actually. He hardly said a word and when he does, it's always just a short brusque sentence. Hyungwon was not that much different either, and this probably was one of the main reasons why they got along so well, considering this would be their 2nd year (nearing their 3rd year) sharing the same house together. They did have another person living in for awhile, but it didn't turn out well and Hyungwon would rather forget the whole event, forever if he could.  

Most of the time their house would be very quiet, with only the sound of the clock ticking that can be heard, echoing against the bare walls of their apartment. It was almost as if it's uninhabited. Since he's alone tonight, everything was just dead silent and he loved it too much. Such quietness was what he was craving for. This was because he really needs to finish the final draft report on eco tourism that he had been postponing all this while, and this exact mood was just perfect.  

He's been rewriting and perfecting the report more than a thousandth time. He desperately needed to impress and satisfy his professor, hoping that it would make him eligible for the dean's list, for once. Getting the much desired scholarship would most definitely help him get rid of the burden that's weighing heavily on his shoulder for the past 2 years. Working countless of hours just to earned enough to pay for the tuition fees was driving him to the walls. He really wish he wouldn't have to work during his final year, so that he could have all of his attention towards his studies without being dragged down by the additional work load. Often obtaining GPA of 3.6, it truly was a miracle that he somehow managed to always maintain his grades well above average, well above his own expectation.  

All too focused on his work, he did not realise how much the time had flew. It was almost twenty past midnight, and thankfully he was already on his last sentence. He saved his work, one in his laptop and one in a pen drive (for safety measures), then proceed to emailing the lengthy report to his professor. Pleased with the progress, he decided to head to bed instead of reviewing the notes for tomorrow's class.  

Just as he was about to lie down on the soft mattress, he heard the bell rang continuously. Whoever that was at the door was really asking for a death wish. _Bastard,_ he cursed at the visitor. He reluctantly dragged his body to see who this rude person was.  

The second he saw the man standing outside his door, he wished he hadn't done so. It's been months since he last saw the person and he would like to keep it that way. He turned his heels back to his room. He tried his best to ignore it, hoping that the individual would get the message. The man however, was very persistent and very determined about getting on his nerves. The bell was ringing aggressively non stop. Unable to fake being oblivious to this nuisance, Hyungwon got out of his bed. He let it rang a few more times before finally answering the intercom.   
   
"What the fuck do you want Shin Hoseok?"   
   
"Hyungwon, I really need you."   

The lanky man rolled his eyes. He heard this so many times and every time Hoseok said it, he would always be drunk out of his mind, blabbering empty words, not holding any weight to a single word that came out of his mouth.    
   
"Are you drunk?"   
   
"Even if I was drunk, I would have answered otherwise anyway. But no, I'm not drunk, so please open the door."    
   
As much as he was tempted to leave the man out in the pouring rain, he just did not have the heart to do so. Despite his hatred, he just cannot. Not when Hoseok was soaked in his own blood. He let the man in, before disappearing in to the kitchen. The other followed him like a little duckling.   
   
"Hoseok, not this shit again." There wasn't any greetings of sorts, no questions about the bruises, no panic behaviour. With an absolute calmed and composed manner, Hyungwon instantly and instinctively took out the emergency kit out of the kitchen's cupboard. Already too familiar with the procedure, Hoseok placed himself on the kitchen's counter waiting for Hyungwon to treat the wounds that were scattered all over his face and arms. This wasn't the first time the elder had been here; he was the housemate that Hyungwon greatly wanted to erase off his memory and get away from. And this also wasn't the first time he had gone to his house after they had decided to go on their separate ways.    
   
"You really should stop doing this. Why do you always picked up a fight dude? And why is it that almost after every fight, you would come here? Do you not know how uncomfortable I get when you come so suddenly in such state? Are you that thick in the head?" 

A little smile crept around his lips as Hyungwon went rambling on his rant. He honestly have been missing this. The closeness, the touch, the voice, the pure care that the younger had for him. Had this been a few months back, he would have been showered with little pecks, with the warmth from Hyungwon's luscious lips carefully pressed against the delicate wounds. Naively believing that it would magically washed the pain away, and made the scars became almost nonexistent. The latter was too busy attending the wounds that he had not realised the injured man's potent gaze.  

"You're the only who I could think of, and Minhyuk can't handle shit like this."   
   
The statement got Hyungwon's blood boiling. It was beyond his comprehension how the elder had the guts to say such ridiculous thing. Did it not occur to the other that he too can't handle it. That he too was tired of cleaning up the other's mess over and over again, even though he was promised that he won't be seeing such thing every damned time Hoseok fucked up. That whenever Hoseok apologised, he would secretly hoped that it was really for the last time, despite knowing that the same shit would be repeated. That Hyungwon had actually decided to put with his fuckery, to stand by him, to be there for him every single day for his own stupid sake, when he had the chance to fled before things got worse. Did Hoseok not think how much it would hurt him to find out that his lover was seeing someone else behind his back all this while when Hyungwon was suffering in agony. To make matter worse, it was his own best friend who had stabbed him ruthlessly. He tried his very best not to shed a single tear.   
 

"You really should stop talking before I kill you instead of heal you." Hoseok was about to retort when Hyungwon purposely put the pressure on the wound, making Hoseok jolted in pain. "I mean it." After he got treated, Hyungwon kindly asked him to leave, making it crystal clear that his presence was not welcomed. The taller led him to the door. As he was about to open it, Hoseok grabbed him by the wrist. The said man resisted but he was no match compared to the strength of Hoseok's grip. It was too much for him.    
   
"Hyungwon, I miss you."   
   
"I've had enough of your bullshit Hoseok."   
   
Hyungwon struggled to set himself free. 

"I could charge you with assau..." What happened after startled the taller male. His heart dropped and his breathing tightened. The not so foreign hands snaked around his waist and the warmth on his back stayed for far too long. He was too stunned that his body failed to form any sort of response and instead stood still like a statue, felt just as dead.    
   
"I am so sorry Hyungwon."   
   
"Enough Hoseok", his voice was low, and despite being on the verge on tearing up, he continued, "Nothing you said ever meant anything." Hot tears were clouding his vision. He couldn't held it in anymore, letting river of tears flow down his cheeks. "You told me the same shit years ago but you just never change." Hyungwon stopped, trying to catch his breath in between his crying. "If you're really truly sorry, you wouldn't do this to me."  

He really did not like where this was heading but the emotions were just too overwhelming. His hands were clenched tightly in to a pair of angry fists. So tight that his knuckles had turned blue. He didn't realise that he was biting his lips with so much force until a little drip of blood tainted his white shirt. The taste of iron lingered in his mouth. The image of Hoseok wondering on the figure of his beloved friend flashed by him. How the other would reply with trails of little kisses all over his lover. How they were breathing in to each other, so lost in their own world, failing to realise Hyungwon's presence. It got him so angry and irritated that he managed to push Hoseok off his body. He was shaking madly. 

"Fuck you!" 

Hoseok tried to calmed him down only to be slapped right in the face. It was such a weak one, and to say that it hurts would be far from it, but inside, Hoseok was dying. He had never seen Hyungwon in so much pain, so shaken up, so weak, so vulnerable. They were once so perfect for each other. Their opposite personality complemented each other, always able to satisfyingly fulfill each other's wants and needs. Everyone was so envious of their perfect chemistry, telling them how they wish they had a relationship like theirs. The thought of them separating had never came across anyone's mind. No one saw it coming. However, as time past by, things got out of hand; one would constantly give too much, pampering his lover without being asked, while the other blindly took his blessings for granted, forever receiving and hardly ever give anything back in return. Upon seeing the tears fallen off Hyungwon's fatigued eyes, Hoseok finally realised just how much damage he had done, how much of a dick he was towards such precious soul, how unfair it was for Hyungwon to suffer all alone. Learning that he was the very cause of Hyungwon's misery had made him wished that he really was dying. Dead and gone, forever out of Hyungwon's sight for good.  

Hyungwon left him on his own devices, locking himself in his room. Finally snapped out his thoughts, Hoseok collected himself, and brought himself out of the apartment, making sure the door was properly locked. "I am terribly sorry, Chae Hyungwon."  

His tears became one with the raindrops as he walked towards the bus stop. It started to rain cats and dogs, and there was no way he could go back under this circumstances. He dialled Minhyuk and asked him to fetch him. Not long after, Minhyuk got out of his car with a massive black umbrella and rushed towards the drenched man.  

"Hoseok, what the fuck happened? Are you okay?"  

The man mentioned could only nod.  

"Let's get you to the hospital." 

Hoseok shouldn't have said what he was about to say, but he was not in his right mind, and he was in no state to filter what was running through his head.  

"It's alright. Hyungwon had done this for years. It really is fine." 

Tonight, he just can't fucking stop himself from doing all the wrong moves and said all the wrong things. Minhyuk's heart sank as he flinched at the remark, but he thought better and decided that ignorance is a bliss, and thus pretended that he didn't hear what Hoseok said. Instead, he helped the hopeless man got in to the car and brought him to the nearest hospital. Hoseok sobbed all the way there, and Minhyuk just let him be.  

While in the apartment, another battered soul was crying himself to sleep, hoping that it would somehow ease the pain, even if it was just a little. His heart ached every time he replayed what had happened, purposely taunt himself with the images ever so vividly, thinking that the pain would be enough to numb all of his senses for tonight.   
 


End file.
